“How deep is your love?” no doubt reminds you of the famous song by the Bee Gees or perhaps Calvin Harris’s modern beat. It’s interesting that so many songs are written about love – good loves and bad loves!
I have been fortunate enough to have found deep love in my life and it is just one of the things that certainly makes life richer. To be able to build an intimate connection with another human being, to be vulnerable, authentic and be really seen by another person…..it can be life changing. It can also hurt!
“What is love” is still one of the highest ranked searches on google which says a lot about our search for it and our understanding of it.
Positive psychology recognises the importance of human relationships to enhance our wellbeing. We all have a deep yearning for a deep human connection, to be loved to be seen and to give love and for it to be accepted. It is one of our human drivers.
At every stage of the human experience of love your brain and body are flooded with a range of different hormones that influence your behaviour, mood and even your health. When these are in full force then we feel great and our wellbeing is flourishing!
So why am I telling you this? And why am I asking the question “How deep is your love?”. Because I see so many people are disconnected from their intimate relationships and it seems that they are just going through the motions. What is the point? When you know how much greatness you can gain out of a strong intimate relationship, wouldn’t you want to invest in that relationship every day? With this in mind you could be firing on all cylinders in your Power Zone all day and enjoying the influx of the hormone Oxytocin!!
I always remember the minister who married my husband and I, sitting down and telling us that a marriage is like a garden. A flourishing garden needs water, sunshine, fertiliser, love, interest, enthusiasm, replanting, harvesting and protecting, If it is not tended to every day then weeds begin to grow. At the time, I thought how weird and that how could our current state ever change – so young so in love, so much fun!
I get it now and realise that the advice was true. Weeds can start growing very quickly.
So, a question for you if comparing your intimate relationship to a garden – “What state is your garden in right now?”
Remember Open The Door Wellbeing app has a great Love Life Programme that helps you discover what your love language is, what your conflict style is and whether you are a Blamer, Bottler or Appreciator as well as other guides, exercises and tools to help you make you intimate relationship flourish!
Everyone likes to feel connected, to be seen, to be validated, to be loved, to be able to be vulnerable without being judged… so what will you do to help your relationship flourish today?